Proverbs 3:5-65 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
This is a lesson that started back on that trip, or perhaps even before. But it is something that I’m learning right now.
During the trip, each of us had the opportunity to share something during the daily prayer time in the evening.
One of the team members shared about her life, and she shared her life verses, which are taken from Proverbs 3:5-6.
I have understood at some level what the verse was talking about. It’s obvious and clear, and logical, that we trust God to lead us. Not just for one aspect of our life, but in every thing.
But I’ve realised something in these months since I’ve returned from the trip. It’s not nearly as straightforward as I’d like to think it is.
I trust God about some things for sure. Yet there are many more things in my life that I think I can handle on my own. The thing at the forefront of my mind right now has to do with my job. I feel that I shouldn’t stay, that I should leave, and soon. I want to leave.
But this is something that I decided on my own, instead of trusting God and asking Him for direction.
Sure, I did pray about it, but in those first few days when I decided that I should leave as soon as possible. (Soon is relative; in this case I mean the end of the year.)
I had already decided the path that I wanted to go, and even though I had prayed for direction, I didn’t want to hear God’s answer.
It’s completely foolish to believe that we can handle anything better than God.
At this stage, I can say that I still don’t know what it is that I should be doing with my job. I have many things I want to do with my life, such as travelling and living overseas. I have dreams, big, grand ones. While I might not be as rash as I was a year ago, but I still wouldn’t say that I’ve grown up very much.
But I realise that the right thing to do is to simply trust God, and wait.
Psalm 27:14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.